Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Adversarial Culture: Open_Notes 3

forms of communication - the gender aspect - cultural roles men/women - conversation is an opportunity to make contact with others - men seek confrontation to make contacts, friends (mental matching) - women see conversations as negotiations for closeness (listening, sensitivity) - "our need to complain is the reason for language" (-comedian Lily Tomlin) - admit fault, apologize vs. never admit fault (litigious framework) - there is a difference between a ritualized, automatic response or strategy, to a heartfelt one.

media "ritual opposition" focus - their job to find something wrong - what's the other side vs. what's another side, other sides - can we learn something from another's point of view? - let's pick our fights in a rational way, a rational approach - better results to express our view - not positioning ourselves as the enemy of the other person - focus the confrontation, opposition on the key areas, not everyday events, etc. - e-mail rage due to anonymity - technology role in confrontation - we are all parts of the same community - reinforcement needed vs. polarization - mediation, problem solving approach. -- [Notes 1,2,3][based on CBC, Pamela Wallin Live, Deborah Tannen, author "The Argument Culture, Moving From Debate to Dialogue", Apr.17.98]

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